Tuesday, January 13, 2015

JOKES PART(1)

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1- 1 kavi garibi se tang aa kr Daku Ban gya,
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Daketi karne 1 bank gya or kaha.
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Arz kiya hai
Takdir me jo hai wahi milega..
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Hands Up,Koi apni Jagah se nhi
Hilega!!
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Fir cashier se kaha
Apne kuch khwab meri ankho se nikal
lo
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Jo kuch bi tmhare pas h jldi se is
bag me
dal do!!
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Bahut koshish krta hu teri yad
bhulane
ki..
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Khabrdar, koi koshish na kare police
ko
bulane ki.!!
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Fir jate-jate kaha..
Bhula de mujhe kya jata h tera.
.
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Mai goli mar dunga jo kisi ne picha
kiya mera....

2-·Ladka bola : Dilruba
Ladki boli : pizza khila
Ladka bola : paise nhi
Ladki boli : kaise nhi
Ladka bola : Mehangayi hai
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.Ladki boli : To phir Aaj se tu mera bhai hai..

3-Funny Shayari collection
1.Na jaan, naa pehchaan, Tu mera mehmaan
…. And the award goes to A.R.Rehman!

2.Kisi ko naa thi mere pyaar ki khabar,
Diagram galat ho gaya, Rubber de Rubber..

3.Teri adaao pe main vaari vaari..
Dial 139 for Railway enquiry…

4.Na jeene ki aarzoo, Na marne ka khauf..,
The number you are trying is currently switched off..

5.Apne ghamo ko bas,
dil me daba lo…
Naya Godrej powder hair dye,
Bas kaato, gholo aur laga lo!!

6.Yun khamosh rehkar tadpegi kab tak…?
Cameraman Praful ke sath Deepak Chaurasiya AAJ TAK..
4- 
Railway TC: Baba kaha jaoge?
Sadhu : Jaha Ram ka janam hua tha.
TC: Ticket he ?
Sadhu : Nahi he
TC: To chalo..
Sadhu : Kahan?
TC: Jaha Krishna ka janam Tha..

5- Bhagwan Aur Doctor Ko Kabhi Naraaz Mat Karna.
kyu ki Bhagwan Naraaz To Aap Doctor Ke Paas.
Aur Doctor Naraaz To Aap Bhagwan Ke Paas.
Sab Setting Hai...


6- 1 bacha mummy se Buri tarah pitne k baad papa se: Aap kabhi NARAK gaye ho...?
Papa: Nai beta
Boy: fir itni khofnaak cHeeZ laye kahan se...!!

7-
Santa ke Ghar NAVJOT SINGH SIDDHU ki Tasvir Lagi huvi Thi...
Banta: Ye Kyon Laga Rakhi He..?
Santa: LAUGHING BUDDHA Lene Gaya Tha...Dukandar ne Kaha Ye LATEST Hai....

8-   A man went to narak. He saw GANDHIJI dancing with SHAKIRA.
He asks YAMRAJ: BAPU ki saza itni mast kyu?
YAMRAJ: Abbey saza BAPU ko nahi SHAKIRA ko mili hai..

9- 
Train mai Warning likhi thi......."
Bina Ticket Safar karne wale Yaatri Hoshiyaar!!!!!!.. "
Sardar- Waah ji Waah..,
Aur humne ticket li to Hum Bewakoof???
BABA Ramdev Kehte Hai, "Achhi Sehat K Liye Saas Par Control Kare"
Ab Baba Ko Kon Samajhaye Ki,
Logo Se Biwi Control Nhi Hoti To Saas Par kaise Control Kare.!!

10-  Girl-mt kr picha mera 1din royega
bahar college k tu samose ki dukan kholega
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..
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boy- tu mt thukra mera pyar,
1 din pachtayegi usi dukan pe bartan manjti
nazar ayegi.

11- Ek ladki roz ek bas station pe thik subah
08:00 baje
aati thi ek din uske piche ek ladka aake bola,
"Are rafta rafta dekho aankh meri ladi hai,
Aankh jisse ladi hai wo pas me hi khadi hai..."
Ladki boli : "Aankh jisse ladi wo teri ma se b
badi hai..."
Waha pas betha buddha : "Tere liye nahi wo
to mere liye khadi
hai..."

12--Ladki Sath Ho To Restaurant Ka Bill

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Ladki Door Ho To Mobile Ka Bill
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Aur
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Ladki Hamesha Ke Liye Hi Door Ho
Jaye
To
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"Daru Ka Bill"
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Moral: Na Lagao Dil, Na Aayega Bil


13- The janaza of aashiq is nikla from the gali
of mehbuba with very zor-shor,
The janaza of aashiq is nikla fromthe gali
of mehbuba with very zor-shor,
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The mehbuba jhaaki from the door&
boli,
Mar gaya haramkhor’...


14- Movies of College Life:-
Classes = jaal the trap
Attendance = PHIR HERA PHERI
Class room = NO ENTRY
Teacher = JANI DUSHMAN,
Exam = AGNIPATH,
Examiner = KAMEENEY,
Friend during papers = HUM APKE HAIN KAUN,
Viva = ENCOUNTER,
Marking = ANDHA KANOON,
Exam time = QAYAMAT,
Cheating = LAGE RAHO MUNNA BHAI,
Question paper = EK PAHELI,
Answer paper = KORA KAGHAJ,
Result = SADMA,
Pass = CHAMATKAR,
Fail = DEVDAS,
Future = NA TUM JANO NA HUM.


15- 1 लड़का और लड़की पहाड़ों की तरफ घूमने गए.बॉय : ये वो पहाड़ है जहाँ इंसान अपना नाम ज़ोर से 

पुकारेतो जवाब में पहाड़ उसके लवर का नाम लेता है|बॉय ज़ोर से अपना नाम लेता है :योगेश्श्श्श्श्श श्श...!पहाड़ से 
आवाज़ आती हैरितुतुतुत्तुतु. ...Riiiiiitttuuuuu uuuu...!गर्ल ये सुन कर बहूत खुश होती है|
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फिर वो भी ज़ोर से पुकारती है :Riiittttuuuuu.. .!!पहाड़ से आवाज़ आती है :
Amit..
Aman..
Kushal..
Rajesh..
Kamal..
Saahil..
Abhinav..
Tushar..
Abhiraj..
Manoj..
Jayesh..
Aashu..
Taahir..
Vikaas…..

SEE ALSO--HISTORY OF MONEY

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